Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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