the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
