I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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