whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
