I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You've changed since you got that strap on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize