like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
