hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
