are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
