dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
