She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
