I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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