wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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