I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
