You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
