I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His nipple licking is glorious
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