All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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