Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
