Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When are your genitals available?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize