Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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