i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My cat gives me a boner
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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