During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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