i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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