WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
