Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
