smell my finger.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
