Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
