you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
