There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I AM VODKA MAN
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
