So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He felt like a one man threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
