she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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