JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
