I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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