I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
