I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
