Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
