Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
