i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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