Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
