I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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