She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
