Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i dont even know how to be here
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize