about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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