: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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