Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
