I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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