i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
