you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
