Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
