I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
