u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
