i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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