If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
