I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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