Sry I called you an 8
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
