do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
