32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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