I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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