I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
