i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
