I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
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Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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