so that wasnt chicken after all
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
