I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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