Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
