I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
