In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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