If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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