i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
