Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
