Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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