I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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