How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
